As a result of this blog I have been contacted by some remarkable people. Karen Froming at the Institute for Restorative Justice has shared some of her amazing work in Rwanda with me. Ned and Meg from West Virginia shared their quest for adopting a young child from The Sisters of Mother Teresa’s Orphanage. Many of the response were intensely personal; others were posted as comments on the blog. Thank you to everyone who read and responded and upon whom my words and experiences had some effect.
I hear from some of my travel companions sporadically. I read that Immaculee (with the wonderful aid of Tim Van Damm) is still doing her work spreading the word about forgiveness. She has another book coming out soon. Brandon completed his first year of law school and is off on another adventure to Ireland this summer. Portia has likely finished another successful year as a teacher in NYC and Midori as a masseuse in Orlando. Tina and her family had a child (!!!). Nancy has been instrumental in helping my new acquaintances Ned and Meg adopt a child from Africa. I still stay in close touch with Cindy, the organizer of our trip and the one to whom I owe the most gratitude for getting me to Rwanda. She has bravely stepped outside of her comfort zone as an occupational therapist to teach third grade kids in Sumter, SC. Those children will never be the same after this year with Cindy and our good friend Brent Petersen.
I still hear from Richard (an alias) from time to time. Our exchanges are usually brief. I think he knows how much our time together meant to me. I hope so. He was the bravest of us. He took us to places he knew we should see and experience if we were to have a real picture of Rwanda. He told us stories of his own pain and sorrow as well as stories of his family and acquaintances. He accompanied us from the mountains to the savannah, from Hotel Rwanda to the church at Ntarama where 5,000 of his people were killed. Much has changed in his life but I know that he, and all of Rwanda, has demons to deal with. On April 22 he emailed a few of his friends his memories of that time 14 years ago.
Tim and Brandon do you remember that forest in Butare where u guys visited very briefly to our way to Kibeho…. It was yesterday april 21th
Dear friends
If there were no memories I could forget this day, but the memories have become part of my life, and I can not live without them.
“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain…”
It was on April 21, 1994, and the soldiers decided to kill us. It was 5:15 p.m. when the soldier marched my brother and I into the forest. Behind me my brother was pleading with the soldier when he was shot. At the same moment, I turned to see what was happening to my brother, and the same soldier shot me too with his kalichnikov. I fell down and lost consciousness because I was shot in the arm, the finger and in my side as I turned to see my brother. Later I woke up and called my brother, “Remy, Remy” but he didn’t reply because he was already dead. With difficulty I got up and went out of the forest because I wanted to be on the road where someone would find my dead body. The night had already fallen, so no one found me. Minute after minute I waited for my turn to die because I was losing a lot of blood. I couldn’t move any more and I spent all night in our blood near my brother’s dead body till I was able to move, and I walked out that forest just to be on the road so that I could be strewn away like all the others dead. I was afraid to be eaten by dogs like we saw them all along the road… Gosh I can’t write any more about it all I am asking is to help me ask for forgiveness to my brother since I abandoned him alone in that forest, as a big brother I should protect him, but I couldn’t even through I tried so hard.
Dear brother you know how much I love you and you know that I would protect you if I were able to do so. I have been visiting that location hoping that I would find you again but it has been in vain, I even took some of my friend to that location but we never find you. I only see the trees that are so tall than ever and I just smile thinking they are showing me that you’re in good hands wherever you are. Tell Dad and Mother that I wish they could see us together again, and I wish I could see y’all. Little brother I hope you forgave me, if not please allow my friends and myself to ask forgiveness. Love u.
In loving memory of my brother.
How could I not cry with my friend? How can we not cry for Rwanda?
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