I Forgive Because I Must

We were quiet in the car on the way back. Brandon was sleeping. Richard had on a brave face. Contemplative. Shaggy head down. I wanted to talk a little, to debrief. “So, what did you think?” Richard asked after a lengthy silence. I had waited for him to speak the first words. This must have been so hard for him. “I still don’t understand,” I said. “All of those people. The Hutu extremists. They all made a choice. I’ve heard about how well organized it was, about how the French were behind it, about the propaganda. But every one of those killers made a choice that goes against who we are as human beings.” There was another long pause. “They chose to kill.” Richard replied, “If you don’t forgive it’s gonna eat you up, man.” “Do you for give, Richard?” I had wanted to ask him earlier, but I didn’t have the nerve. But after seeing all of that… “Yeah, I forgive. I do. What other choice is there?” Another pause. He looked straight ahead. I was crying. WHAT OTHER CHOICE IS THERE? HATE!!! Here is a man who will never go to church again. “I have no use for the church,” he said the day we celebrated mass at Ganza’a church. It felt like a very long time ago, although it had only been two weeks. He is supposed to videotape a church wedding today and he shudders at the idea. Yet he espouses forgiveness. Much of his family was killed in a church where they went for refuge. His brother was killed in front of him. He was shot and left for dead. But he wants the Hutu and Tutsis to live together in peace. He is doing what Christ taught. Despite his lack of faith in organized religion, he acts more like a Christian than many Christians. He helps the poor. Reasonably. He does not judge. He walks the toughest parts of Kigali. Fearlessly. What else could possibly be done to him, right? He counsels. He is a good and kind man. He doesn’t forget… but he forgives. Again, there is God. Beyond religion. Beyond rules and procedures to get to Heaven. It is God.